When You Feel Like You Failed

Oasis was a bit hectic tonight. I had to kick out my first student tonight. In 8 years, I have never had to kick out one of my students. It was pretty heartbreaking.
I know I shouldn't feel like I failed because I did all I could, but I can't help it. Did I miss something? Was there something she wanted to talk to me about that I missed? Where is her anger coming from?

I only had 2 students in my group tonight. After the one went home, I talked to the other student about what happened. I assured her that I had no ill feelings for the students. I just had to enforce the Oasis rule about respecting the leaders. At Oasis, we take dispecting leaders very seriously.

I am really proud of the remaining students. She is an incredible student and I hope she realizes that she has control over her future.
"Show me your friends and I will show you you future" - Judy Gregory

I threw the Eagles Nest guide out tonight (sorry Johnny) and we just talked about life.
The remaining student prayed us out an the end of the night. I hope she knows how much I wished tonight would have been different.

Where Did It Go?

Where did March go? I remember the first weekend of March, but after that it is all a blur. I can't believe it is almost over already.

Catalyst Conference Dave Ramsey

Indescribable Montage

Louie Giglio - Indescribable tour

Ben Hostetler

Benjamin J. Hostetler
Feb. 13, 1980 - March 3, 2008

MISHAWAKA - Benjamin J. Hostetler, 28, of Tulsa, Oklahoma, formerly of Mishawaka, passed away March 3, 2008, in his home. Benjamin graduated from Mishawaka High School and Oral Roberts University. He was currently employed with the City of Tulsa.

Benjamin is survived by his wife, Elizabeth Ann (Steinbach) Hostetler of Tulsa; his parents, Lawrence and Kathleen Hostetler of Mishawaka; sisters, Julie (Kyle) Kosey of Garner, NC, Lucy (Jeff) Porter of Schaumburg, IL, Rita (Christopher) Burgo of Walkerton and Esther (Mark) Filpus of Granger; brothers, Joseph (Dawn) Hostetler of Brownsburg, IN, Mark Hostetler of Eau Claire, WI, and Gregory Hostetler of Columbus, OH. He is also survived by his father-in-law and mother-in-law, James and Linda Steinbach, and his sister-in-law, Amy Steinbach of Arlington, TX, formerly of Mishawaka. Benjamin was preceded in death by a brother, John; maternal grandparents, Joseph and Eugenia Arata; and by paternal grandparents, Roy and Georgette Hostetler.

Friends may visit with the family from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. Saturday, March 15, in Thallemer, Goethals & Wells Funeral Home, 503 West Third Street, Mishawaka. Services will be held in the funeral home chapel at 1 p.m. Saturday, with Deacon Ron Moser officiating. Burial will follow at St. Joseph Valley Memorial Park, Granger.

Memorials may be made to Elizabeth Hostetler.

I have fought the good fight. I have finished the race. I have kept the faith.

2 Timothy 4:7

Benjamin was loved by all and will be greatly missed!

Dallas/Tulsa Trip/Ben

Steve and returned from our trip tonight. I had planned to blog tommorrow morning after a nice night sleep about the trip, but plans changed a bit. It's almost Midnight and I'm still awake.

Thursday: The day started out pretty early because I had a contact appointment at 9:30. After the appt. we took of for Chicago to meet up with Damian. Damian was going to drive us to the airport and use our car for the weekend. The planes went off and landed without issues and mostly on-time too. We had an hour lay-over in Atlanta then headed off to DFW. We got into Dallas in the evening so we went straight to our hotel and went to sleep.

Friday: Friday morning we woke up early again to start our drive to Tulsa, OK. It was a 5 hour drive from Dallas to Tulsa. We had a good time in Tulsa. I think Liz was very happy to see us. Ben's family (all of them) we all in town all at once. There was about 19 people in her one-bedroom apartment at one point Friday night. He has a great family. We sat around singing praise and worship songs. Ben seemed like he was doing well. He was in good spirits and seemed to be feeling alright. We spent the night at Liz's Friday night.

Saturday: Saturday, we got up and Steve made us a great breakfast. It was funny that he did too because Liz said Friday that she hasn't made a meal in about 2 weeks. We hung out with the family a little more. Then we drove back to Dallas to meet "Mommy and Daddy Steinbach" and Amy for dinner. We went to Spring Creek barbeque which is the great barbecue resturant ever. After dinner, we went back to the Steinbach's and showed them wedding photos and chatted. Then we headed back to the hotel and went to sleep.

Sunday: Sunday morning we got up and met the Steinbachs for church. I forgot to warn Steve that their church was really charismatic so it was fun to see his reaction. The people there are really nice though. Church started with breakfast and 8:30, then Sunday School, then the church service that ended around 1pm. They were finishing up there Missions Week. It was interested. The speaker was a missionary from Africa and he was very passionate about his work. Later that night the church was having a Missions Banquet so we went to that too. They were serving barbeque and it was good.

Monday: Monday morning we had to meet our flight at 7:15 in the morning. They were both good flights. We had a layover in Atlanta again. This layover was almost 3 hours long. We arrived in Chicago to meet Damian at about 2:00. After a quick dinner with Damian, we drove back to South Bend.

I was going to talk about how nice the weather was in Texas and First Class flying but it just doesn't seem that important now. We didnt get to sit in First-Class but the flights between Dallas and Atlanta had a First-Class section on them. It really didn't look all that exciting but it may be cool to try once.

We were about to go to sleep on Monday night when "Daddy" Steinbach called Steve's cell phone. He informed us that Ben had passed away at 8:15pm Monday night. It still seems so sureal to me. I can't believe he is really gone. We just saw him on Saturday. Steve made him breakfast and he looked great when we left. I'm really glad now that we took the time to make the trip down there.

Liz told me Monday that he went quietly and peacefully. She said his family was all in the room at the time and they were singing praise songs and praying. I imagine that it looked a bit like Friday when we were there.

At least we know now that Ben is now up in Heaven dancing with Jesus. He is no longer in pain. Even though I wish he was still here, I can take comfort in knowing he is truly happy right now.

I know that God has a purpose in this so we will just have to wait and see what that is.

Please keep Liz and Ben's families in your prayers, as well as all their friends.

Liz Hostetler

7819 S Wheeling Ave, Apt 44L

Tulsa, OK 74136-8626

(918) 488-0775

Here is her contact info in Tulsa if you want to get a hold of her.

Benjamin Hostetler: February 13, 1980 - March 3, 2008