~Isaiah 6:8 NIV
~Micah 6:8 NASB
Monday, November 17, 2008
Pre-Marital Sex Destroy Real Love Everytime
This story is heart-breaking to me. These girls have totally lost their innocence and not even their parents are standing up for them. It seems like parents have just given up. Parents today just assume their girls are going to be having sex, so instead of teaching their daughters to respect themselves and wait, they just stand back and watch. Then these parents always seem so surprised when their teenager tells them their pregnant or has an STD. Then the parents steps in and decides to be parent again. Where was that parent BEFORE she throw her life away?
I have been doing middle school ministry for almost a decade and I have seen girls give themselves away so many times. Girls, you are so worth the wait. Any guy that tells you different is not worth the ground he is standing on.
There is absolutely no love in pre-maritial sex, girls. Pre-maritial sex is all about lust and relationships based on lust never last. Really true love is based on so much more. Don't let yourself fall into the trap of believing that you have to have sex to be popular. It's just not true.
There are ways to protect yourself:
* Avoid tempting situations: Double date, don't go into your bedroom with a boy, always tell people where you are, etc
* Decide in advance: Choose your values in advance so when tempation comes you have them to fall back on
* Find an Accountabilty Partner: An accountability partner is someone who is going to watch out for you. An accountability partner is one of the most important things you can invest in. Find a friend or family member that you can trust. Pick a time and location to meet with them every week or more often if you want, and discuss what is going on in your life. What have your struggles been this week? What have your success been? Where have to you trimphed? Where have you failed? Honesty and trust are key because you can't be afraid to tell the whole truth to your accountability partner.
What Every Teenager Needs to Know:
They are not alone on this journey of life. Sometimes tough things happen but everything happens for a reason. I am convinced that the Middle School years are the toughest. In some situations they are expected to still act like children, because they are. But in other situation, people expect them to act like adults, so when they encounter a new situation they either act out or withdraw because they feel lost and confused. And to add on top of that they are experiencing hormones and feelings they don't understand and that can be painful. They search for whatever they can find to take the pain away and most of the time those solutions are only temporary, so they try the "drug" again. So the next thing you know, you have a middle school student addicted drugs, alcohol, sex, or whatever they chose for their "drug". As an Oasis leader, I try to give my girls a permanent solution to the pain and that is Jesus. Jesus's love is never temporary.
Parents WAKE UP!!! Sex is every where. Teenagers are being bombared with it from music, TV, and other media and seldom do they show the negative consequences. Girl are sexualized in music and treated like sex objects. What is that teaching our girls or our guys? When was the last time you saw someone on Gossip Girl get an STD or come home pregnant and heart-broken because now the guy wants nothing to do with her or her baby? Even in Juno the movie, the 16 year old gets pregnant and there was no negative consequence. She just moved on like it never happened. In Friends, Rachel gets pregnant and somehow is able to afford a baby and her huge New York city apartment with a job at small coffee shop job working part-time. You never see her struggling with money, trying to get food stamps or welfare, or trying to find a babysitter. Somehow everything just always seems so perfect. That is not reality and our girls are being handed a pack of lies. Our men are too. They being taught if they aren't having sex, they aren't cool. Guys need to hear this too. There is nothing "cool" about it. Just think, someday you might be a father. Would you want someone to be thinking about your daughter they way you are thinking about your girlfriend. I doubt it. She deserves respect and so do you.
The most important thing you can teach your daughter is self-respect and confidence. Fathers, I think, are the most important person in a daughters life. Daughters without fathers in their lives are far more likely to get into destrucive behavior. The girls are looking for love and they think love=sex, so the first guy that comes along and says sweet things to them...they are hooked. The first guy a daughter hears "I love you" from should be her father.