"Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here am I. Send me!"
~Isaiah 6:8 NIV
"He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?"
~Micah 6:8 NASB

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Monsters Inc: Fighting the Monsters Within You

I have learned that when bad things happen to you, you have two choices. You can become bitter and angry at God and the world or you can become better and stronger. I choose to become better. There are monsters all around us that want to steal our joy: impatience, hurt, anger, envy, bitterness, greed, loneliness, guilt, etc. The trick is to call them out and find ways to combat them. I find that worship music, the old hymns, really helps me.

You have to tell the voices in your head, that seem so loud, to be quiet.  I wish it wasn't so hard. I find myself failing a lot. I have found that if you are not careful that impatience can turn into anger, angry can turn into bitterness, and bitterness turns into envy. Envy is a horrible emotion. Envy not only steals your joy, but it robs you of feeling joy for someone else.  Guilt speaks loudly in your ear when you are alone.  What did I do wrong?  You go through every moment in your mind and wonder what you could have done differently.  The Devil would love it if I gave in and let him win.  He would love it if I got anger at God and walked away from His love.

I have chosen to lean in to what God is teaching me. If we don't learn something during life's trials, then the situation was wasted. It had no purpose. What is God trying to teach me? I don't know that yet. Even when I feel alone and just want to scream, God is there. While I try and find an explanation, God is there telling me He has it under control. Have I hit the acceptance stage? Hardly. Do I feel better today than I did yesterday? Yes, so far.

I am choosing to become better. I am choosing to move forward and not live in the past.  I am choosing not to let the monsters steal my joy for one more day.

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