"Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here am I. Send me!"
~Isaiah 6:8 NIV
"He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?"
~Micah 6:8 NASB

Monday, February 28, 2011

I'm Waiting for my Crown of Life

Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. James 1:12

Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; Romans 5:3

I don't feel very blessed today.  This week has just been one trial after another.  My spirit feels very deflated right now.  I don't feel thankful and I don't really want to rejoice.  I think I have the right to be angry for a little while.  I'm angry and frustrated.  Sometimes I feel like whenever I start to feel good about myself or when I think good things are going to happen something bad happens.  It doesn't feel fair what happened.
I know that I can find another job and the next job could possibly be much better than the one I had.  I have no ill will towards Sears, my boss, or my co-workers.  They were all just doing their job and what they thought was right.  I unfortunately got blamed for something that I didn't do. 

I'm trying to hard to live by the verses above, but this life is hard.  I can't help always feel like something bad is waiting for me right around the corner.  I have struggled my whole life with that voice in my head telling me that I will never measure up.  That Little voice that tells me that I shouldn't bother even trying because I'm never going achieve what I want.  I know that I have to ignore the voices and rebuke them with scripture, but they get so loud sometimes.

So what do I do now?  I have to lift myself back up, ignore the voices in my head, try to remember all the things I have to be thankful for and move on with my life to, hopefully, bigger and better things.  It's not as easy as it sounds.  Life is a journey filled with stress, disapointments, joys, and laughter.  We have to live life one day at a time until we reach our final destination, our ultimate purpose.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

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